Counselling for couples
Helping couples reconnect after feeling disconnected, and to create a deeper richer relationship going forward.
One of the most important relationships we will ever have, will be the person whom we choose to commit to romantically; the person whom we choose to build a life with, to create a family and future together.
A relationship goes through different stages; from the joys of meeting and falling in love, to the settling in and creating a life together, to the challenges and turbulences and darker questions, and the doubts that can creep in about whether there can be a future together.
We can feel whole and deeply connected, as well as alone and disconnected within the relationship. A rollercoaster of emotions one might say of joys and despair.
Frequently, as couples, we are usually at a point of crises when we seek help and support from a couples counsellor and this can be quite scary and tender times. We generally don’t want to hurt those close to us but sometimes situations and life takes a turn and we find ourselves lost and disconnected from the person whom we love most dearly.
It is true too, that sometimes we are at the point where we feel we are no longer wanting to be in the present relationship and wondering how and if it is possible to separate kindly from each other.
In my experience, both are true, and finding a way forward is, and can be, the most loving thing we have to offer each other whichever the outcome. I endeavour to hold you both, and your relationship, with compassion, kindness and empathy, so that together we came meet together and create a space so that both your voices are heard and listened to.
The therapeutic model that I use predomintaly when working with couples is Imago. Imago therapy is a fairly structured process where we begin to explore the issues and concerns within the couple as dialogues. The dialogues have been created as a way to hear each others voice and to explore in more depth as to what is going on within the couples dynamic. Learning to use the dialoguing process can initially feel a bit clunky and strange, but once it has been gotten to grips with it can bring forth a whole new and deeper form of communication between each other that can be carried forward. I do understand that the dialogues can challenging to learn, as I too have had to learn how to use them in my own life.
I came across the Imago way of working with couples several years ago. By witnessing dear friends of mine seeking relationship support for their marriage at a time when they were considering the possibility that their relationship was coming to an end and that separation was inevitable.
What I witnessed, through their process with their therapist, was remarkable, it was not an ending of their relationship, but a deepening and reconnecting of their relationship, they were able to reconnect with the person that had fallen in love with all those years ago, and they were able to nurture the newness that came back into their relationship.
I was so inspired by this that I decided to formalise my learning and understanding of the Imago process by undertaking the training to enhance the therapeutic work that I was already doing with individuals and couples. To be able to assist couples and individuals to reconnect and live a deeper and richer togetherness.
I am a certified Imago Relationship Therapist and nearing the completion of the Advanced level training. I have over the last 4 years experience in working with couples and have helped many couples find a way forward when things have felt almost impossible.
I am also in the process of increasing my skills to be able to offer the ‘Getting Love you Want’ and ,Keeping the Love You Find’. Workshops - these workshops are designed for couples to learn more about each other and how we react and respond in our intimate relationship and also for people who are, at present single, but who are wanting to find a new relationship with more understanding and knowledge of oneself. I have attended both these workshops as a participant and have found insightful and healing.
I have also witnessed, when relationships do come to an end, that it is possible to bring an ending and closure to the relationship that is respectful and acknowledging of what was there before, but in the past.
Frequently, when a relationship does come to an end, there are children involved and finding a way to have good clear communications can make a big difference to the feeling of the family relationships going forward. It can be incredibly moving to witness and work alongside couples as they consciously choose to seperate. It is a very tender process but one where we can hold each other with love and respect.
Please get in touch to find out more and/or book an initial session
If you would like to meet with me then first of all the three of us would arrange to meet for an initial/assessment session. This is an hours session where you will be able to meet with me, let me know what it that has brought you both to see couples counselling and to get a feel for the way I work. From here you hopefully with get a sence of if I would be the couples counsellor for you and your relationship.
I will also explain to you how the Imago process works and we will have an opportunity to try an Imago Dialogue.
Going forward if you do decide that I am the couples counsellor you would like to meet with, then session thereafter are either an 1hr or 1hr 30mins (hour and a half sessions can be weekly or fortnightly. (We will discuss this in the initial session).
Imago
The Imago process was developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen La Kelly Hunt this highly practical and effective method has helped thousands of couples worldwide establish more connected, passionate and joyful relationships.
Imago's Core PrinciplesThe core principles of Imago therapy are based on two of Harville’s earliest books ‘Keeping the Love you Find’ and ‘Getting the Love you Want’.
Eliminating the idea of ‘right and wrong’ and replacing it with a deep sense of curiosity and loving care for yourself and your partner
Raising consciousness around your projections and their impact on your relationships
That all relationships move through Romantic Love into the Power Struggle and have the potential to move to conscious joyful relating
Understanding your childhood wounding. How you adapted to it and the impact it has on your life and relationships
Through the Imago dialogue process we will begin to explore and to find a new way of communicating with each other, to be able to be heard and respond in a supportive and held environment. My role is to guide you through this process and facilitate greater understanding of what is happening within the relationship and to begin to rebuild connection together.